NO END IN SITE OR SIGHT

Recently, I stumbled upon this sign in an Illinois antique shop my wife and I were hunting. Made of stainless steel, it is vintage, probably from a 1940s or 1950s passenger train coach. This sort of sign would have been a common bathroom sight on trains of that era (or even later) in the United States and other countries.

I had to have that sign! It kindled flashbacks to my long train ride , with hundreds of other Boy Scouts, from LaGrange, Illinois to the 1953 Jamboree in what is now Irvine , California. Boys will be boys, of course. Long train rides can be boring at times. Accordingly, signs such these became invitations rather than prohibitions. Many a flush occurred in stations along the way, much to great juvenile joy. But wait, as they say on many TV commercials. The really great fun happened when a coach was standing over a highway as the rest of the train was in a station. The sign said nothing about flushing over a road crossing. A flush over a highway produced an effect similar to the sight of a person leaving a bathroom with paper stuck to a shoe--only in this case, it was stuck to tires.

Passenger train toilets at that time essentially had straight pipes directly to the tracks. As a result, tracks tended to become above ground septic systems. In our travels to England in the 1980s and 90s, I recall standing on local station platforms gazing on toilet debris on the tracks--not a welcoming experience. But for people on the platform, the site simply was unpleasant. For railroad workers, who walked, inspected and repaired the rails, it must have been just awful.

Today, presumably, passenger trains in the United states and most countries, collect bathroom waste into tanks below the coaches. So, another tradition gives way to modernity. And, a sign becomes an antique and only flushes a memory. Maybe I will hang it in our bathroom and see what happens.

WATER BANKING YIELDS HIGH INTEREST

As demand for fresh water in parts of the United States out paces supply, utilities are exploring creative solutions. During a recent visit to London, I was interested to read an article in the International Herald Tribune discussing "aquifer storage".

What is this? Aquifer storage is essentially the reverse of drilling a well to pump water from an aquifer. Generally, water from the surface in injected through wells into the aquifer for storage . Then, when demand calls for more water, the stored water is pumped back up, treated and distributed to users. The full name for this process is "aquifer storage and recovery" or "ASR". In addition to injection wells, surface spreading and infiltration pits and basins may be used to feed the aquifer. Injection wells are regulated by U.S.EPA under its Underground Injection Control program.

A primary advantage of ASR is water can be stored during wet weather or low demand periods and then recovered in dry or high demand periods. Other advantages include" the additional water in the aquifer can defend against salt water intrusion and land subsidence; there is no evaporation issue with underground storage; crop land is not flooded and taken out of service; and aquifers may have more available storage space than surface reservoirs.

On the other hand, there may be some potential negatives: ASR may result in the injection of pathogens, particularly if treated wastewater is injected; if water is disinfected prior to injection, disinfection by-products may be introduced into the aquifer; and chemical differences between aquifer water and injected water could result in leaching of arsenic, manganese, iron, radionuclides or carbonates from the aquifer geological formation.

There, of course, may be an overriding legal issue: whose water is it, anyway? In other words, who has a right to the water in an aquifer; is a utility legally entitled to recover the injected water? In some jurisdictions, a landowner has a right to recover water under the person's land, even if some had been injected by a utility.

Several countries are utilizing ASR, including Australia, Belgium and The Netherlands. Even Thames Water, the utility serving London, stores water in an aquifer under that city.

In the United States, utilities in several states have developed or are planning to develop ASR facilities. For example, the San Antonio Water System Twin Oaks Aquifer Storage and Recovery facility is said to be the third largest ASR facility in the country, with 29 wells and some 60 mgd well field capacity. The Washington state legislature has adopted rules for review and issuance of permits for ASR projects and several projects are underway.

With dry weather in portions of the United States, and growing water demand in agricultural and population areas, resulting in depleted surface waters and aquifers, prudence may encourage more utilities to consider ASR to take advantage of storm water and treated wastewater when available.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THEM?

A recent magazine article sparked my attention. Its title read: "7 Things To Make With Toilet Paper Rolls." What a crafter's challenge! Just what can we do with those empty rolls after the toilet paper is fully used?

It appears that toilet paper wrapped on rolls is a relatively recent invention, tracing roots to the last half of the 19th century. Frankly, the technology has not advanced much since then. Basically, as most of us know, segmented long sheets of thin and often abrasive paper are coiled around a cardboard roll. Thus, after all the paper is removed for use, one is left holding the cardboard roll.

The magazine article offered some creative uses for the empty roll. For example, it could be used to hold wrapping paper together-a roll on roll, if you will. Or, it could be used to contain an electric cord; or seed could be glued to the outside of the roll, and it becomes a bird feeder.

Inspired by these examples, I conjured up some other possible uses:

* Several empty rolls could be strung together to make a garland for a Christmas tree.

* Rolls could become containers to hold candy treats to be given to Halloween trick or treaters.

* Rolls could be used to hide jewelry and other small valuables from would be thieves.

* Horizontally, rolls could be used as napkin rings at more formal dinners, when cost is an issue.

* Vertically, they could be used for place names at the dinner table, when guests are deemed unimportant.

* Rolls could be made into home made English Christmas crackers, when the real things are too expensive.

* Roll could make fine beverage holders on airplane trips, for those who drink their wine or spirits straight from the small bottles.

* Following current trends, rolls could become virtual currency for various transactions.

Because empty toilet paper rolls may have a carbon footprint, and could clog landfills or even sewers if discarded inappropriately, perhaps the best solution is regulation by a federal governmental agency. The Toilet Paper Empty Roll Control Act (TPERCA, for short) could be enacted by Congress to authorize EPA to regulate the size, composition, use and disposal of empty rolls. Rolls and their uses would have to meet strict compliance standards. Users of toilet paper would file monitoring reports with the agency. Any use or disposal of a roll would require a permit.

Accordingly, regulation again would provide a happy solution, for we all certainly would know what to do with our rolls.

THE REGULATOR IS IN...5 CENTS, PLEASE

Last week, I was window shopping down Regent Street in London. Open field running between raging double decker buses, I crossed over to Piccadilly Street toward my ultimate destination, Earl Grey tea haven Fortnum & Mason. However, colliding with all the tourists on the sidewalk gave me a "peckish" feeling, so hunted for a place to sit and catch my compromised breath. Shortly, I stumbled into the small front yard of a church designed by Christopher Wren--suggesting a combination of benches and history to revitalize.

I spotted a bench, one of those iconic English wood benches that one sees in all the travel pictures. Amazingly, one side of the seat was pigeon dropping free, perhaps cleaned by the pants of a prior occupant. I crumpled onto the seat. Overhead, a leaf emerging branch of a tree was making lace work out of the rare sunshine that filtered onto me.

After a few sighs, my eyes noted a curious sight to my left in the church yard. There in a corner was a small green "gypsy " wagon. It had wood sides, a curved metal roof, and steel or iron spoked wheels. There was a Dutch door in the middle of the side facing me, with the upper half open to expose a woman looking outside. I began to sweat with fear. At any moment, I expected Maleva, the gypsy fortune teller played by Maria Ouspenskaya in the Wolf Man, to emerge from her wagon to reveal my fate when the moon was full.

My concern receded, however, when I noted a large sign propped up next to the wagon. It read: "Caravan Drop-In--Emotional Support Counseling."

As I began to crumple again, my thoughts of the scene reminded me of Lucy standing behind her makeshift counter to which was nailed a makeshift sign scrawled with "The Doctor Is In...5 Cents, Please."

The whole experience got me to thinking: what if the EPA and similar regulators toured the country in gypsy wagons, stopping everywhere to offer counseling support to utilities and customers on water and waste water issues. In addition, like Malaeva, they even could offer predictions on the success of their recommendations and compliance initiatives. Of course, if one were bitten by some regulatory or legal non-compliance, the full moon shining on the court house might still be of concern.

I got up from the bench and headed back toward the street, still somewhat unsure after the experience whether I would be better off dropping in at the caravan or continuing to F&M for the comfort of tea and sweets.